Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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