I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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