I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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