My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
