Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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