So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
