I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
