I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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