I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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