He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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