This girl is more easily done than said...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
