idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
