doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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