Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize