Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
