turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
