Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
