Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
