It was confusing and full of hummus
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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