new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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