Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
