:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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