Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
