Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
