ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
