oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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