Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
