I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
