she woke up with a sticky ear
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
