I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
