I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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