ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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