One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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