Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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