3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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