It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
