that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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