Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
