You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
