Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
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I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
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You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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