Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
