giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is my gift to your gina
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
