Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I lost the right to judge tonight
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
