so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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