I'm going to jail i love you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
operation harelip BJ is a go
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
