It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
