Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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