I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
