yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
