So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
