What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
