i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
