hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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