the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think brook has ever known best
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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