Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I faked an abortion last night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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