apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
