Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
