In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
