If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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