I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
