how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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