ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
