You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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