drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
