i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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