your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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