OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize