Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
