The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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